Cheaters never prosper — but liars apparently get hired.
Fibbing you’re way into a cushy position in corporate America is an absolute must, according to a professional recruiter who’s virally encouraging wannabe employees to fudge the truth while job hunting.
“There are three things that I need you to lie about in every interview,” Bonnie Dilber, a recruiting manger from Seattle, Wash., urged an audience of over 1.1 million TikTok viewers in a trending how-to on best practices for landing a gig.
“Save these,” she advised before sharing the choicest tall tales to tell, “and prepare your lies before every interview.”
Dilber, whose helpful hacks may come in handy to the masses as new job openings recently rose to a staggering 9.6 million across the US, then rattled off her preferred falsehoods — starting with the cardinal con.
“If you’re leaving your job because you really dislike it, because you don’t get along with your boss or your colleagues — you’re going to lie about this,” she insisted, adding in the clip’s closed captions, “Don’t focus on what’s not working.”
“Please do not tell them that your boss doesn’t like you. Don’t tell them that everyone is really hard to work with,” the blond implored. “All they’re going to hear is that you are difficult.”
RELATED: The 8 best online resume services of 2023, per a career expert
The workplace whiz offered jobseekers a more appealing yarn to spin.
“Instead, you’re going to say something like, ‘Things are going great, but I want to take on bigger challenges.’”
Dilber then moved on to her second-best swindle: “Why you want the job.”
“Look y’all, like 100% of people who want a job want it for the money and benefits,” she conceded, noting, however, that admitting your sole interest in a paycheck during an interview is a massive no-no.
“It’s not a unique answer, it doesn’t differentiate you from anyone,” warned the employment insider, “and it’s a big red flag to them because they think [money] is all you care about.”
Dilber, instead, suggested candidates placate potential bosses with sweet-talk about their mission to serve as an asset to the brand.
“Tell them why you are passionate about the company’s mission, why this job is your life’s work and why you are just such a good fit for the culture of this company,” she said.
Last, but certainly not least, when asked about your plans for the future, Dilber says to lie through your teeth.
“I don’t care if you are starting grad school in six months and just need this job as filler,” she began, “I don’t care if this job pays half of what you’re used to making and you are going to jump ship as soon as you find something better.”
“When they ask you about your plans for the next five years,” said the facts-flubber, “you’re plans are to be at the company, you’re plans are to come in, knock it out of the park on this role and continue to grow as opportunities arise.”
Dilber doubled down on her deceptive directives, explaining why dishonesty often wins the day.
“What every company wants is top talent that is going to stay and grow with them,” she said. “And if you come into an interview and communicate that your current job’s not going well, you’re just really in it for the money and you don’t really plan on staying long term — you are none of those things.”
And while her tips might be useful to some, most would-be staffers online groaned about having to perform mental gymnastics in order to score a post.
“This corporate Hunger Games is exhausting,” lamented an onlooker, liken the job-hunting process to a survival of the fittest feat.
“I don’t have a passion. I don’t want a career. I want a job so I can live. That’s all. I don’t wanna play all thes games,” spat another exasperated employee.
“Lying is an executive function skill. Knowing when and how to lie is essential to survive our current hellscape,” griped an equally vexed viewer.
“To me, this shows why so many corporations are full of liars,” wrote another, “and then [they] wonder why they’re full of corruption with poor work culture. Exhausting cycle.”
And while Dilber is in favor of falsifying the truth, some staffing execs consider fakery a high-crime.
“It’s accepted that there’s some degree of embellishment on resumes and in interviews to add color, context and importance to a narrative that’s essentially true,” noted Post reporter Greg Giangrande in response to an inquiry about the repercussions of hoaxing-for-hire in January.
“But lying is never acceptable,” he said, “and you never get away with lying at work.”