I’m lucky to be alive after sustaining ‘car crash injuries’ tripping over my cat

He suffered cat-astrophic injuries.

A UK man miraculously survived after sustaining a broken neck, fractured spine, smashed ribs, blood in his lungs and other “car crash”-evoking injuries from — wait for it — tripping over his cat.

“I can’t remember much, just falling fast — it was quick and it was over within seconds, then I was at the bottom,” victim Chris Rowley, 59, told the Mirror.

The freak “Apocalypse Meow” accident reportedly occurred on the evening of Oct. 23 while the Leicestershire-based professional musician was home alone with his hairless Egyptian sphinx kitten, Eric Morecambe.

Disaster struck after the wrinkly kitty, apparently feeling playful, dove out and latched onto one of its owner’s legs while he was coming down the stairs.

“It took a bit of a chunk out my leg then I lost my footing,” described Rowley, who reportedly tumbled down 14 steps before arriving at the bottom, where he lay unable to move when his feline put the “hell” in Hello Kitty.

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The “massively injured” man didn’t realize the extent of his injuries at the time. However, paramedics later revealed that he’d suffered “fractured skull, a broken bone in the neck, two fractures in the spine, nine broken ribs, and each rib has multiple fractures, and then I had a bit of blood in the lungs,” he said. Eric Morecambe, meanwhile, was completely unharmed.

Unfortunately, Rowley’s wife Jackie, a children’s care worker, was working nights and was therefore unable to come to his aid, the Mirror reported. As a result, the Brit had to lie unattended for a whopping 14 hours in a pool of his own blood.

“My phone was dead — I couldn’t get up, I physically couldn’t get up,” Rowley described. “It’s the hardest sensation — it’s almost like claustrophobia, you can’t get out, you can’t physically get anywhere or do anything.”

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It wasn’t until the next morning that the immobile vocalist’s wife arrived and discovered her husband spreadeagled at the bottom of the stairs.

“I normally get home at about 8:30 a.m., but that day, I got held back and I didn’t get back ’til about 10, and I opened the door and heard him screaming and saw the blood,” she told the Mirror. “He was saying, ‘Oh you’re home, help, help.’ By this time, he’d dragged himself onto the landing.”

Jackie then dialed emergency services, who arrived “within minutes,” whereupon she quickly left the room as she “couldn’t stand” her partner’s screaming.

“We didn’t know how bad his injuries were at this time. They had to really drug him up to move him,” Rowley’s distraught paramour lamented.

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The un-fur-tunate fellow added, “I can’t explain the pain. I realised I’d cut my head as well, I didn’t know how much I’d cut it until I saw the blood, and later on, they told me about the other injuries I had.”

As if that wasn’t agonizing enough, his oblivious pet started stamping on his chest — a move he’d reportedly been doing all night, said Rowley.

Medics transported the injured cat owner to the trauma unit, where he remained for two weeks, per the Mirror.

He’s far from out of the woods. “They say it will be six to 12 months until I’m back on my feet. I’m on a trial now because of the seizures. I won’t be great for another 12 months, I’d have thought,” lamented the music man, who currently can’t breathe without oxygen. “We have to go back to the hospital next week to see if they need to put a drain in, to get rid of the blood that’s left over. Then it’s just a matter of a long recovery.”

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The issues have been more than just physical. Rowley reportedly has lost a lot of income on account of being unable to tour due to his condition.

A friend of the family has since created a GoFundMe page to help ease Rowley and Jackie’s financial strain while he recovers.

Despite his debilitating condition, Rowley doesn’t harbor any ill will towards his kitty.

“The cat’s adorable, and he’s only young,” he said. “I don’t take any umbrage to that, it’s just one of them things — it could have happened anyway.”