When I was 10, I was outside climbing trees with my brothers or riding my bike to the playground down the end of our street.
I remember wearing mismatched, hand-me-down outfits from my mum’s friend’s daughter and while I cringe looking at photos now, at the time, I couldn’t have cared less.
“They are wearing make up to school”
Now my own daughter, *Ava, is 10 and she couldn’t be any more different.
Her priorities centre around what she looks like, from fashion, skincare, to makeup; things I only started caring about when I was mid-teens.
While I am fine with Ava taking an interest in fashion and playing around with style because I can tell she is genuinely interested in this area, the makeup I take issue with because I know this is coming from somewhere else.
This somewhere else is her friends and really, the majority of the Grade 5 and 6 cohort at her primary school. The girls who range from ages 10- 12 are experimenting with makeup products and not just in a fun way little kids do with bright blue eyeshadow and red lips at home on the weekends, but they are wearing it to school.
For the most part, from what I have seen and heard at least, these girls are wearing foundation, mascara and lip gloss, so nothing too over the top but regardless, I think primary school is far too young to be wearing these products and that it just isn’t necessary.
“I said she was too young”
So, when Ava asked me for makeup for her birthday recently and said that she wanted it so she could wear it to school, I told her no. I said she was too young and that makeup at school isn’t needed, not even at high school. This is when I realised how much of an issue it was because after I said this to Ava, she started bawling; genuinely upset that I had said no about this.
“All my friends wear it and so do all the girls,” she told me. “I don’t want to be the only one who isn’t, they will make fun of me,” she added.
After this, we had a big chat. This is when I was filled in on how big of a thing makeup had become and started to really take notice. While mostly the makeup was pretty natural, there were the odd faces that clearly had eyeshadow or tinted lip gloss, or just really poorly matched foundation or badly applied mascara that stood out quite a lot.
Seeing this as a mum was quite confronting for a host of reasons but mostly it just saddened me that these young kids thought that they needed to wear makeup to school to fit in, going so far as reapplying it or touching up bits during the day in the school bathrooms, so Ava told me.
I feel for Ava and her desire to fit in but at the same time, I am conflicted about her having to apply makeup at 10 to do so.
“The school has a policy”
I actually looked into the school’s policy about what is acceptable and not when it came to uniforms and dress code.
But other than specific rules around jewelry that were linked to health and safety and hair being tied back to reduce lice transmission, there aren’t any specifications when it comes to makeup, or nails, meaning technically, makeup isn’t an issue in this regard.
As a parent though, it is. I just want Ava to be able to be a kid. I want her to be carefree and not concerned so much with what she looks like, how others see her and the idea she needs to change herself to fit in, which is essentially what her desire to wear makeup is.
If it was just her wanting to play around with it at home, do some tutorials, or something like special effect makeup, I’d be understanding but I know it’s not like her love of fashion, it is something entirely different.
The pleading to wear makeup is still continuing and Ava is becoming increasingly upset by being told no and, to be honest, I just don’t know how long I can keep up the stance for when it impacts her so much. I know too, that it is just going to get worse as she moves into Grade 6 and then high school, I feel like I will have to eventually say yes even though I don’t want to.