Anyone who has been single for an extended amount of time, like me, knows that we are fast approaching two months of fresh singletons coming on to the market. Huzzah!
It’s when all the partnered people suddenly go on a dumping spree before Christmas.
I know because I’ve been there. Last year I was dating a guy and it was going OK. Not fireworks and sex at dawn type stuff but we were getting on well.
He looked great on paper (and in a linen shirt) and if we weren’t fast approaching the holiday season, I probably could have happily plodded along in this semi-sorta relationship for a few more months. Perhaps it could have even turned into a full-blown love affair if I had of given it time to grow.
But like I said, it was the holiday season and decisions needed to be made. Like, were we expected to spend Christmas together? Was it time to introduce each other to our families? Should we drop a wad of cash on Christmas presents?
I found it all a little too overwhelming and so I called it early.
You see, every Christmas I fill my little Kia Picanto up with presents, swimmers, and two weeks’ worth of clothes to spend a glorious holiday with my family at the farm.
We play backyard cricket, sip cocktails by the pool, stay up late squabbling over board games and pay each other out so recklessly that if you weren’t part of our family, you would be horrified. We, however, find it hilarious.
The idea of bringing someone into my happy farm bubble was slightly troubling me. For one, he was vegetarian, and we ran a cattle stud. I mean, that’s not great!
Plus, I had just got back from an (accidentally expensive) overseas holiday and the thought of throwing away a couple of hundred dollars on a guy I wasn’t convinced I would see next Christmas seems absurd to me.
And while I am being far too honest, I will also admit that I quite liked the idea of welcoming in the New Year with friends and a carefree single girl attitude.
So he got the boot.
My ego took a bit of a whack when he took it all too well. But perhaps he was quite looking forward to a “hot guy summer.” Brutal.
It turns out that what I had experienced is not unique. In fact, it’s something that happens globally this time of year. It’s even got a name: ‘Scrooging season.’
It’s been given that name, because Ebenezer Scrooge, the horribly miserable character in Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol despised Christmas and everything it represented. Scroogers are people who behave in their relationships in the same manner – showing no care or compassion for their partners and ending things abruptly as the holidays approach.
Hang your head in shame, Jana Hocking!
This seriously is a make-or-break decision time for many couples who never really found their groove. The added benefit of being single for a hot summer of beach parties and barbecues sure makes it extra tempting to fly the coop. As a singleton now on the other side of the fence this year, I’ve discovered this is a wild and raunchy time.
But word of warning: these new singletons will simply be on the horny rebound and not ready to settle down. So, my advice: Just have fun and don’t take it too seriously. Let’s put the “real” dating on hold until post-holidays.
Sigh, I miss that linen shirt. Maybe I should check back in. Actually, maybe after Christmas.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking